In these two pictures 'Lonely Cow' (above) and 'Cache' I used an ipad drawing app to 'flesh out' and embody ideas in response to reading 'On Not Being Able To Paint' by the British psychoanalyst and artist Marion Milner (1950). For Milner it became clear that painting related to feelings created from the depiction of space and that painting 'must be deeply concerned with the ideas of distance and separation and having and losing'. By adding an horizon line and shadows to emphasis depth of field in my own work I discovered vistas of possibilities.
'Lonely Cow' was inspired from a design on the side of a packet of butter. Railing against aggressively covert or explicit sexism, 'Lonely Cow' stands naked, exposed and alone between twin posts of undefined polemics. In a vibrant but deserted landscape, the woman looks directly at the viewer, vital but silenced without means of a voice. The telegraph poles represent myself looking for a language to say what really matters, my unconscious stance between words and images; my commitment to finding a way to express dangerous and appealing aesthetic experiences. Here perhaps, the shadow of my 'unthought known' leaves a residual trace.
'Cache' illuminates the hidden; losses and endings. I have used the effects of light on an object like a sentence - you read the picture from left to right - a common language in Western art. In 'Cache' the image of a discarded or lost inflatable cat blowing away in the wind is also without a means to speak. In moments of emotional distress when we lose something valuable, we can lose grip on reality, and displace grief onto an object. We search frantically for a missing wallet, or try in vain to resuscitate a mobile with no battery. Blame and paranoia can set in and thieves and aggressors hide in the shadows. In moments of emotional distress we forget, or lose 'perspective'. We forget what we have lost; an uncle, a parent, or maybe an aspect of ourselves. Drawing an inability to speak talks about these forgotten memories. Through art we can reconnect and remember.
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